Parents talk to us all the time about vaping.
They express concern their kid is vaping and want us to help them get them to stop.
The number one reason we don’t worry about vaping – or frankly talk about it at all – is . . . if you are at Hope For Families you simply have bigger fish to fry and vaping is like a goldfish in the ocean (NOT REALLY A THING TO THINK ABOUT!). Seriously, vaping is most likely the least of your concerns and not something we are going to address. There is only so much willpower our brain has every day and if your child who is using drugs, alcohol, or self-harming is trying to stop, then for goodness sake, let them vape (or even smoke!!), in order to save their limited will power for the greater good.
Some of the other reasons we don’t consume ourselves with this topic include the following.
Vaping is almost always a fad. Most of the kids we see vape for a while and then move on to something else or give it up on their own. (See my solutions blog for a personal example.)
To me, vaping falls in to the category of NOT A HILL TO DIE ON. There are worse things to do including drinking, drugs, unprotected sex, driving recklessly, self-harming, and simply not knowing yourself. All of these are potentially very dangerous and vaping just doesn’t merit this definition.
I think it’s super important that parents learn their kids, as they become teenagers, are no longer simply “their children” but are now becoming PEOPLE. This means we have to accept the fact that after the age of eleven, parents have less than four percent influence over their kids – and it FALLS from that age on. So, yelling at them, forbidding things, and punishing them for things you don’t like only causes them to lie about doing them, sneak, and become more devious. None of these behaviors are ones you want to feed at any cost since they only heighten the gap between you and them.
If you want to learn how to work on your relationship with your kid then
click here for some solutions.